I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize