So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
