Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
