the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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