in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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