ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
