How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
