After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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