I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
