guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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