Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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