he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
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