They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
