you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
