He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
