I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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