he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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