just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
