apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
