4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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