I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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