I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize