id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
