take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
