Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Can i not drive my cunt home
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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