My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
