Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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