So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
