I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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