Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
