Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
