Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
