considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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