let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
