Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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