I'm eating all of the evidence.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
