Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
