Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
