We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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