Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
