I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
