He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
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