obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
This is the prime rib incident all over again
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
