you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
