***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
