U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
