Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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