I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
