3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
