you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
