I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
