i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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