We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
