listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
