We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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