This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
