She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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