WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
