I'm jealous of your bromance
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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