Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
