I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
