Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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