Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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