Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
