dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
dude. I can hear the air.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
