I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize