AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
