Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I look better un-naked...
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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