I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
