it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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